I’ve been thinking a lot lately about parenting skills.
The ones I have… The ones I don’t have… or think I don’t have…
The ones others do or don’t have.
Boy, do I have a headache from all of that!
What prompted this? You mean besides the never-ending conversation that goes through my head (and surely most parent’s heads)… Am I doing the right things with my son? Does he know that I love him? Is he happy? Does he have everything he needs? Does he eat healthy enough? Am I sending him into therapy later because of my actions… and a million more actually…
Confession time (those that know me already know this though) – I have a temper. I yell. One good thing though, when I am over it, I’m over it. I don’t bring it up again, I get it all out and I’m done.
I have a few friends that probably still to this day ‘can handle it’, but they don’t get it. They are quiet and keep a lot inside. I just don’t ever do that. My husband (and yes, I’m aware I’m supposed to minimize what I write about him in the blog, but…) he doesn’t yell. Well he does, but I have to really push him to it and even then it is not a lot. Me on the other hand, the neighbors 3 houses down can hear me. #justsaying #notproudofit
What’s the point of sharing that completely unflattering personality trait of mine? To kind of explain what happened this week. Let me preface though by stating that over the last year, I have worked extra hard to curb my yelling. doing the walking away thing, the breathing, etc… and it has been working… I am A LOT better… but still…
The other morning, I woke up my son as usual, asked him what he wanted for breakfast, came down stairs and made it. (Toasted Peanut Butter and Jelly) Put it on the table.
He comes into the kitchen and starts whining and crying because he wanted what he asked for. I tell him to go sit down at the dining room table. I figured when he gets in there, he’ll see I made him what he asked for and he will be happy and eat.
I gather up my very healthy English muffin (which is what made him start crying when he saw it) and go into the dining room.
He had taken his plate and slid it across the table. He starts whining and crying again.
I pick up the plate, go into the kitchen and tell him that he can just have a breakfast bar. He says he will throw it away.
I lost it.
I start yelling. He starts crying. I tell him that I made him what he asked for and he threw it across the table, so he can go without breakfast.
Now he wants it. He starts crying more… I yell more…
He says in between gulping breaths “You hurt my feelings, You hurt my heart”
I pause, steel myself to keep from crying and throwing up and die a little in my own heart.
I calm down.
Then we have a 5 minute discussion about the fact that I made him what he asked for and he disrespected me by not even looking and then acting so badly.
I tell him that he hurt my feelings and my heart too. He apologizes. I apologize.
Now let’s move on to some good parenting… I think…. 🙂
WOW.. So I take him to school and then go to karate class, where the instructor works ALL of the energy out of me. WHEW.
Then yesterday, his school (he is in pre-kindergarten) had a field trip. I took forever to sign the permission slip. Am I just weird? Freaks me out to think of him going off of the school grounds. I am not sure when I am going to ever stop feeling like that… if I ever do… So I reached a compromise… I let him go, he could ride on the bus… but I signed up to chaperon the event and would follow the bus. Closely. Seriously. I ask again, am I crazy? Don’t answer that! 🙂
When we got there, I was in charge of my son (of course) and another child… We had a spectacular time! Though note to self… when you have to hold 2 little boy’s hands, leave your purse in the car… lesson learned.
They didn’t plan the timing very well… when snack time came around, we were way out and in the middle of something… kids started complaining! My son said, “Ugh, I’m out of energy, I’m empty” and the other little boy said, “I’m hungry, where is my snack.”
Luckily, I had put my son’s snack in my purse (maybe not such a bad thing that I was awkward carrying it now). I pulled out the Cheese-its and they shared… (and a few other kids came running over too). Then we tracked back to the bus to get the packed snacks and for about 15 minutes the kids were all quiet! Maybe they did time that right after all?
So now I’ve covered one of my bad parenting skills (yelling) and one of my good ones (being prepared)… The questions still flow through my head all the time… but I am learning to find the answers… Seeing what I am doing wrong, and what I am doing right…. and hopefully I will fill up the ‘I rock’ side soon and leave the ‘I suck’ side lonely… 🙂