Parenting Skills


I’ve been thinking a lot lately about parenting skills.

The ones I have…  The ones I don’t have… or think I don’t have…

The ones others do or don’t have.

Boy, do I have a headache from all of that!

What prompted this?  You mean besides the never-ending conversation that goes through my head (and surely most parent’s heads)…  Am I doing the right things with my son?  Does he know that I love him?  Is he happy?  Does he have everything he needs?  Does he eat healthy enough?  Am I sending him into therapy later because of my actions…  and a million more actually…

Confession time (those that know me already know this though) – I have a temper.  I yell.  One good thing though, when I am over it, I’m over it.  I don’t bring it up again, I get it all out and I’m done.

I have a few friends that probably still to this day ‘can handle it’, but they don’t get it.  They are quiet and keep a lot inside.  I just don’t ever do that.  My husband (and yes, I’m aware I’m supposed to minimize what I write about him in the blog, but…) he doesn’t yell.  Well he does, but I have to really push him to it and even then it is not a lot.  Me on the other hand, the neighbors 3 houses down can hear me. #justsaying #notproudofit

What’s the point of sharing that completely unflattering personality trait of mine?  To kind of explain what happened this week.  Let me preface though by stating that over the last year, I have worked extra hard to curb my yelling.  doing the walking away thing, the breathing, etc… and it has been working… I am A LOT better… but still…

The other morning, I woke up my son as usual, asked him what he wanted for breakfast, came down stairs and made it. (Toasted Peanut Butter and Jelly) Put it on the table.

He comes into the kitchen and starts whining and crying because he wanted what he asked for.  I tell him to go sit down at the dining room table.  I figured when he gets in there, he’ll see I made him what he asked for and he will be happy and eat.

Silence.

I gather up my very healthy English muffin (which is what made him start crying when he saw it) and go into the dining room.

He had taken his plate and slid it across the table.  He starts whining and crying again.

I pick up the plate, go into the kitchen and tell him that he can just have a breakfast bar.  He says he will throw it away.

I lost it.

I start yelling.  He starts crying.  I tell him that I made him what he asked for and he threw it across the table, so he can go without breakfast.

Now he wants it.  He starts crying more…  I yell more…

He says in between gulping breaths “You hurt my feelings, You hurt my heart”

I pause, steel myself to keep from crying and throwing up and die a little in my own heart.

I calm down.

Then we have a 5 minute discussion about the fact that I made him what he asked for and he disrespected me by not even looking and then acting so badly.

I tell him that he hurt my feelings and my heart too.  He apologizes.  I apologize.

Now let’s move on to some good parenting… I think…. 🙂

WOW..  So I take him to school and then go to karate class, where the instructor works ALL of the energy out of me. WHEW.

Then yesterday, his school (he is in pre-kindergarten) had a field trip.  I took forever to sign the permission slip.  Am I just weird?  Freaks me out to think of him going off of the school grounds.  I am not sure when I am going to ever stop feeling like that… if I ever do…  So I reached a compromise… I let him go, he could ride on the bus…  but I signed up to chaperon the event and would follow the bus.  Closely. Seriously.  I ask again, am I crazy?  Don’t answer that! 🙂

When we got there, I was in charge of my son (of course) and another child…  We had a spectacular time!  Though note to self… when you have to hold 2 little boy’s hands, leave your purse in the car…  lesson learned.

They didn’t plan the timing very well… when snack time came around, we were way out and in the middle of something…  kids started complaining!  My son said, “Ugh, I’m out of energy, I’m empty” and the other little boy said, “I’m hungry, where is my snack.”

Ummmm…

Luckily, I had put my son’s snack in my purse (maybe not such a bad thing that I was awkward carrying it now).  I pulled out the Cheese-its and they shared… (and a few other kids came running over too).  Then we tracked back to the bus to get the packed snacks and for about 15 minutes the kids were all quiet!  Maybe they did time that right after all?

So now I’ve covered one of my bad parenting skills (yelling) and one of my good ones (being prepared)…  The questions still flow through my head all the time… but I am learning to find the answers…  Seeing what I am doing wrong, and what I am doing right…. and hopefully I will fill up the ‘I rock’ side soon and leave the ‘I suck’ side lonely… 🙂

Internal Editor


I am really trying to figure a few things out.  Not the deep ‘what is the meaning of life’ stuff, but the ‘little things I notice every day reading web pieces’ stuff…

First of all, I wonder where all the good editors have gone, and then I realize that maybe for online stuff – nobody edits the content before it is published.  Maybe it is the neck-breaking pace of people trying to be the first to get information out – or even that they don’t take the time to re-read their posts before publishing them that causes all of the mistakes.

To top all that off – I have no idea why it bothers me so much.  I have read so many ‘articles’ and ‘interviews’ on people’s websites and blogs, etc – and there have been many mistakes…  it is actually an exception now to read an article without a mistake… even on the sites that should know better than that!!  I can *almost* overlook a missed word, still cringe though at bad grammar… but spelling mistakes?  Really?  COME ON!!!  I’m not even talking about the ones that the spell checker won’t catch (though those still cause cringing) – I’m talking about ones that ANY spell checker would have highlighted or caught if a spell checker was run…

So the question becomes, do you point out these mistakes to the person writing the article?  I hate to put it in comments – who knows if those really get read by the author… I think telling people they made mistakes is the right thing to do – then they can go fix them and not look so inept (yes that is a strong word for in a hurry and too lazy to read through their post) to the next person reading their writing?  Anyone agree?  I have actually posted a few things on here that when I go back and look at them, I find a mistake… I roll my eyes at myself and then fixed it and republish.  Feel free if you find any errors or stupid mistakes on my part – to comment and blast me and let me know! 🙂

Lastly, it seems to me that this internal editor I have – that I cannot turn off (believe me I have tried) might be the cause of my inability to get any real writing done.  I have good stories (I think) in my head that I would love to write.  I need to figure out how to just vomit the words out, not care about form, content, sentence structure, grammar, spelling, etc…  THEN go back and EDIT…  why is that so hard?  OCD?  is there a cure for that? 🙂

Sunny Florida


Lounging by the pool

Lounging by the pool

Had a good day in ole Sunny Florida today!  I spent a lot of time out in/by the pool.  I read, floated, played with my son, and just chilled.  Warm sun, nice breeze, crickets and the sound of the wind flowing through the trees.  Very serene!

Yesterday, Hubby and son went to the beach and had a great time! Unfortunately, Hubby had a little trouble applying the sunscreen to my son!  It doesn’t seem to be hurting him though, so all I have done is rub a little Aloe Vera on there!

Bad Sunscreem

Bad Sunscreen from the side

Looks like a mask for a super hero

Looks like a mask for a super hero

Watched True Blood tonight…  I am getting more and more excited to see the next episodes this season!  Right when one is over, I start counting down until the next one.  We ought to have a party for the finale!  We’ll see! 🙂

So looking forward to shows starting up again this fall!  Southland starts back to work tomorrow! woo hoo!  I really like this show… I like ensemble casts – gives many different characters and points of view! Wells always seems to do that… worked for ER!  I just hope that NBC doesn’t drop the ball and ruin this show!  I am still very upset that Life got canceled!

You know, here is one diatribe that I have.  I have watched MANY shows over the years.  They have good ideas, solid casts and then someone (don’t know who producers, studio, writers, ??) I don’t know these things – but someone ruins it. Here are some examples:

Profiler:  Awesome idea…  kind of like criminal minds…  they had a great cast – and while Jack started off being necessary to explain why Ally was skiddish and had quit…  They didn’t need to continue that BS through the whole series… They could have made awesome episodes on each episodes merits and gone into the characters here and there…

Pretender – if they would have kept showing more of the ‘pretending’ and not so much of the BS of them ‘catching him’ – it would have been better, and lasted longer!!

I will write more when they pop into my head – as they often do!! 🙂

Night all…

new cable box


BEGIN RANT

Ok – so I was going to be more positive starting today – and I think I did ok until this afternoon!!

Just to be clear – I used to have Verizon FIOS – but then I moved to a new neighborhood and they weren’t out here yet – so unless I wanted to get satellite (and yes I do like DirectTV – but didn’t want to buy the equipment)  Verizon promises to be out here @ the end of July… PLEASE LET THAT HAPPEN!!

So – our main HD DVR blitzed out – had to reboot the dang thing at least once a day (that is a whole other rant)

The cable guys showed up – can you believe – 2 guys – 2 different trucks just to exchange a box… really?

So as they were walking up – early (do have to give them that) – my electricity went out – well what great timing… so they exchange the 2 boxes – and the electricity comes back on..  so I ask “can you transfer the taped shows from one DVR to the other?”  They  looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head (come on – you can barely see them 😉 )  Then they said “NO, you can’t do that”.  I said, “one hard drive to another – you even have a menu item to copy to vcr”.  I got the blank stare again.  SO I just said “dang – should have copied to disc before you got here” – then I got the eyeroll that meant “Silly girl, you couldn’t do that”

So now – am pissed at myself for not doing that before they came. I had the new Season of Burn Notice on there – just finished watching Season 1 – and Season 2 doesn’t come out until tomorrow – so wasn’t going to watch Season 3 yet! now gonna have to wait for re-runs or watch online.. oh well…  Still…

END RANT.

new site


So here I am – over on a new site – moved the blog over so it looks like I did all my postings at the same time – Fun…

So I have a rant.  I really have lived, tried to live my life in a certain way.  I actually pride myself on the fact that I could still actually call up and talk to anyone that I have gone out with, and that every friend I have made over the years, I still have contact with. Some more sporadically than others – but that is usually the way of the world!  Getting on FaceBook was a great experience for me – connecting with people from as far back as Junior High – Sometimes I wonder – Are they going to remember who I am – Some I don’t try to add b/c I think they might not remember me – but you never know – I need to just get in there and do it!

As for Twitter, I am wholeheartedly addicted…  Found some really funny and good people to follow… Found some celebrities on there and I shoot a tweet to them every so often. 🙂

I’ve gotten into some stimulating conversations and I love that – bantering around ideas, hearing different points of view… Kirstie Alley cracks me up!

It is past time for me to turn my brain back on – I had shut it down because of certain circumstances and now I need it defragged and rebooted!  I am working on it!

driving with bugs and song


So as I drove into work this morning, trying to make it through the hail storm that Florida calls love bugs (those really are hard to get off the windshield), I listened to my son sing in the backseat – I have finally learned to make sure that I play his playlist while he is in the car!
This came about after the first time he started singing The Blackeyed Peas “Gotta Get Get” and 3OH!3’s “Don’t Trust Me”.   Even though he did get those lyrics a little wrong – ‘Shush girl, shut your lips, do the “Helly Kelly” and talk with your hips” (Real lyrics = HELEN KELLER!! for those that don’t know!) – Even as I laughed, I decided maybe it would be better to play “Old MacDonald” – His 3 year old ears pick up way too much! 🙂

Then I drop him off at school, drive to work… Don’t you love it when you are at a stop light jamming to a song, doing a little dance, and you look over to the car next to you and the person in there is doing the same thing? 🙂 Of course, I have looked over sometimes to someone just staring at me like I have a horn growing out of my head – I just smile, wave and keep on jamming!

Speaking of driving, one of my biggest pet peeves comes with traffic… WHY, oh WHY do people on the interstate have to go the same speed in all three lanes? Drives me nuts… you’re stuck behind a couple of cars, can’t get around them and there is nothing but clear highway in front of them…. WTF people – move the hell over – Those are the people that cause road rage!! Just saying….

Also – my hubby will roll his eyes at me for posting this – but he does this thing driving that just really kills me. You know how you have a rear view and side mirrors? Well – someone correct me if I am wrong – but isn’t the point of those mirrors to give you a 360 view of area around your car, so that you can sit in the driver’s seat and not have to be looking around? Well my hubby read somewhere that you should put the side mirrors all the way out… (When I drive in a car after him I get dizzy) – Anyway – so he puts the mirrors all the way out – THEN when he wants to change lanes or whatever, he has to lean over into the window… WTF?? Seriously? Is that logical? another pet peeve – exclusive to the hubby I guess… just saying… 🙂 (Love ya honey!)

Other pet peeves of mine in drivers:
1. Stopping in a lane to GET in the turning lane – seriously folks…
2. Stopping on an on ramp – There is a merge lane for a reason – so you can get up to the speed of the traffic and MERGE –
3. speeding up and slowing down on the interstate… usually means someone is on the phone or texting and not paying attention…
4. tailgating me when it is obvious that I am also stuck behind some idiot going the same speed as the car next to them… if I could go faster, I would, get off my ass!

I am sure there are more – these are the only ones popping in the ole head at the moment though…

whatever


Ok – so hubby was watching some cooking show about a girl who was a vegetarian and wouldn’t cook meat for her boyfriend..  there was even a shot of making BBQ tofu – WTF!!! Just because you date someone that is a vegetarian – you have to become one too?? That is ridiculous – I would never expect someone to change to be with me (because people rarely change anyway…) but ESPECIALLY not to stop eating something that they loved!!!