Mother’s Day Wish

What would I like for Mother’s Day?  Well, for starters, I would like a whole day without someone questioning the choices I make for my son.

If I want to send him junk food in his lunch, I will.

If I think it is OK that he touched some other 4-year-old girl’s hair at school, I am not going to punish him because he got YELLOW at school for doing that.  I guess I can’t argue with their ‘rules’, but PUH-LEASE…  I remember being knocked down, jumped on and wrestled.  He touched a girl’s hair and patted it (like he does mine.)

If I throw away one of his toys because he threw it down the stairs, I will.  (obviously this is after telling him that is what would happen if he did it again)

If I want to make him eat at the table and sit up straight. I will.

If I don’t feel that a 4-year-old who has great teeth needs to go to the dentist RIGHT NOW. I won’t take him.

If I feel it is OK for him to watch a movie.  He will.

If I decide to let him play the DS.  He will.

Get the point?  🙂

Sheesh…  bad week for me I guess…  but come on.

Anyway, on to some lighter stuff and less BS…

Well some time during the last month, my son has come up with new sayings… I should really write them down when I laugh at them… but, I really haven’t.  I think I will remember them, but obviously I don’t… 😦

His absolutely favorite one right now is :  “Mommy, I need to tell you something”

If I have heard that once, I’ve heard it 1,000 times lately… Though we have finally learned the difference between telling and asking…

So actually about half of them are “I need to ask you something.”

His questions and things he has to tell you are interesting…  He gets so excited about things!

He has also been setting rules for things… and everything is a competition… luckily, he always picks me for his team.. 🙂

He has such an awesome imagination..  sometimes I just get enthralled in the stuff he comes up with.

So ultimately I have what I want for mother’s day.. I have an awesome kid…  seriously.  I know I am biased, but he is a smart, caring, empathetic, curious child. 🙂  He has his moments… what kid doesn’t… but mostly, they only last for a VERY short time and he moves on…

A great example was in the pool the other day, He asked me…

“Do you hate me because I got in trouble at school?”

“I will never hate you sweetie…”

“You will always love me?”

“Yes, of course I will always, always love you.”

“Even when I’m bad?”

“Yes, even when you are bad, I will love you.”

“Will you always like me?”

“Hmm…  yes, I will always like you.  I may be mad at something you did, but I will always like YOU”

“So you love me forever and ever and always?”

“Yes, forever and ever and always.”

“I love you mommy”

“I love you too sweetie”

So my mother’s day is already special because not only do I ignore most of the people telling me how to raise my child (99.9% of the time) – my child loves me…

He tells me that every day at least 10 times.  I tell him that just as many times too.  I cherish those times, those words, the love I see in his eyes, the hugs I get and the cuddles.  I know there will come a day when I won’t get that as much, but my goal is to never let that light of love in his eyes diminish! 🙂

So Happy Mother’s Day to every mother out there…  whether you are aware of it or not, if you love your children, they know it.  We all have moments, we all make iffy decisions and we all do the best that we can…  I question myself all the time… but I learn from my mistakes, I make sure he knows he is loved and I listen to what he has to say.  It’s the best that I can do.

Lesson 1-Potty Training

Here are some helpful tips for anyone out there raising a son…  I have learned them the hard way.  Now remember as I write this he is only 4 and a half…  so over time I may come back and update this! 🙂  Now – on to what prompted this post tonight…

Potty training… Now, I was lucky enough when he wore diapers to never get that little shower that so many people have gotten!  But I haven’t gotten off scott-free…  so here are my three potty training tips for boys…

  1. Teach them EARLY… Seat up to go, Seat down when done, flush, wash your hands… it’s a good mantra  (has worked for us! Flushing is still an issue, but getting better!)
  2. Try to get them to aim in the middle.  We are still working on this one.. He seems to still think if he doesn’t hold it and doesn’t flush, he doesn’t have to spend time washing his hands! :))
  3. Never talk to them while they are going… they WILL turn to talk to you!!  Just hope you aren’t wearing really expensive shoes that would be ruined!

Now those are the tips… Here is the latest I have been dealing with though… Not sure what the tip will be… but figure it will be something like the mantra in Number 1…  So the issue seems to be that I need to RE-clarify what seat up means…  it means BOTH seats…  Unfortunately, I have gone into the bathroom a few times recently, sat down, and jumped right back up because the seat was wet…  Seems he lifted the lid, but not the other seat and since we are still working on Number 2 and 3…  well you get the picture!

Can’t wait to see what is next! 🙂

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advice for son

ok – So I think that I originally started this blog because I wanted to write down random thoughts and also to capture all of the – I’m sure – insightful and wise – advice that I would like to pass on to my son in the unfortunate event that I might not be around when he is old enough to really listen and understand it (and what is that age anyway?) 🙂

I realize now how much you want to tell your children “Don’t do this or that because you will regret it and get nothing out of it” but they won’t really listen. On some things they will and on others – I guess part of growing up is making those mistakes yourself and learning from them… I will now get to live through watching my son make some mistakes that most parents have to watch!  I am not looking forward to it, but understand that it will happen.

My main goal in everything that relates to my son is to make sure that he knows, really knows that whatever it is, we can get through it. He will get hurt, I will clean him up and make it better – he will get his heart broken and I will be there to pull him up and help him move on. He will get his feelings hurt by kids – and I hope that I can get him to understand that isn’t the end of the world and will make him stronger and hopefully will keep him from doing the same to others…

So if I had a list of advice I would like for him to know?
1. You can do anything you want to do in life, just takes commitment and determination.
2. You are loved, will always be loved. I may be disappointed in some of your actions, but if you are half the man of the empathetic, sweet, intelligent, determined child that you are now – then I will never be disappointed in you.
3. Never be a bully. A bully is just an undisciplined coward.
4. Be careful what you say to someone, words sometimes hurt more than physicality.
5. Always remember to fight fair. Fight about whatever topic you are are fighting about. Never make it about the person. Say “I don’t like that you did XXXXXX” – not – ” I don’t like you” or “You’re stupid.” Every day right now – you tell me that stupid is a bad word and it is – Never call someone stupid (though that is really hard sometimes!) But say “That action was stupid” instead….
6. Don’t ever, EVER think that you have to do something that one of your friends are doing – just because they are doing it! I had many friends growing up from all different ‘circles’ and if they were doing something I didn’t want to do – I would just say no – and they were fine with that… Just because someone asks you to do something or offers you something does not mean they won’t be your friend if you say no…. and if they do stop being your friend if you say no – then they weren’t your friend to begin with!
7. When you do find true friends (way too long a description to put here – will define later) – keep them!
8. When you love someone – tell them every day and mean it – don’t make it just a habit… you never know when they might not be around any more.
9. Same principle – Live your life everyday as if you won’t have a tomorrow… Don’t have regrets, have memories that mean something to you!
10. Know that I will love you forever and if it is possible, I will be your guardian angel – as I try to be now – and as my grandfather is for me!

I will stop at 10 for today! I am sure that there are many many many more things I need to say – so later… 🙂

Good quote for this post…. Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. — Sydney Smith