I realize now how much you want to tell your children “Don’t do this or that because you will regret it and get nothing out of it” but they won’t really listen. On some things they will and on others – I guess part of growing up is making those mistakes yourself and learning from them… I will now get to live through watching my son make some mistakes that most parents have to watch! I am not looking forward to it, but understand that it will happen.
My main goal in everything that relates to my son is to make sure that he knows, really knows that whatever it is, we can get through it. He will get hurt, I will clean him up and make it better – he will get his heart broken and I will be there to pull him up and help him move on. He will get his feelings hurt by kids – and I hope that I can get him to understand that isn’t the end of the world and will make him stronger and hopefully will keep him from doing the same to others…
So if I had a list of advice I would like for him to know?
1. You can do anything you want to do in life, just takes commitment and determination.
2. You are loved, will always be loved. I may be disappointed in some of your actions, but if you are half the man of the empathetic, sweet, intelligent, determined child that you are now – then I will never be disappointed in you.
3. Never be a bully. A bully is just an undisciplined coward.
4. Be careful what you say to someone, words sometimes hurt more than physicality.
5. Always remember to fight fair. Fight about whatever topic you are are fighting about. Never make it about the person. Say “I don’t like that you did XXXXXX” – not – ” I don’t like you” or “You’re stupid.” Every day right now – you tell me that stupid is a bad word and it is – Never call someone stupid (though that is really hard sometimes!) But say “That action was stupid” instead….
6. Don’t ever, EVER think that you have to do something that one of your friends are doing – just because they are doing it! I had many friends growing up from all different ‘circles’ and if they were doing something I didn’t want to do – I would just say no – and they were fine with that… Just because someone asks you to do something or offers you something does not mean they won’t be your friend if you say no…. and if they do stop being your friend if you say no – then they weren’t your friend to begin with!
7. When you do find true friends (way too long a description to put here – will define later) – keep them!
8. When you love someone – tell them every day and mean it – don’t make it just a habit… you never know when they might not be around any more.
9. Same principle – Live your life everyday as if you won’t have a tomorrow… Don’t have regrets, have memories that mean something to you!
10. Know that I will love you forever and if it is possible, I will be your guardian angel – as I try to be now – and as my grandfather is for me!
I will stop at 10 for today! I am sure that there are many many many more things I need to say – so later… 🙂
Good quote for this post…. Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. — Sydney Smith