Oh my!

I have no idea why I did this today, but I went back on Sarah Robinson’s site (I linked it – but it is http://www.escaping-mediocrity.com)

I went back over the ’30 days to changing your game” series…  I read through the posts and the comments again.

I realized how many people I follow on Twitter or follow their blogs, I met through this series.  Wonderful people.  Generous people.  Caring people.  Supportive people. #awesome #amazing

I had actually forgotten how many of the people I interact with came from this series… again – amazing 🙂

I also realized that there were things I thought, imagined and swore I was going to do/change while those 30 days went on.  I haven’t done all of them.  I have done some of them.

When the series started, I found myself hesitant to comment…  I read the posts and comments and had opinions (of course), but I didn’t lend my voice…  I can’t imagine being hesitant any more.. so chalk up at least one thing I learned and accomplished. (and I did get better in the end!)

While those 30 days were going on… I had to keep asking myself what I wanted to change, what I wanted to do… and all I could come up with evolved around writing and getting myself back into shape.

Now?  Well, I resigned from that very, very well paying job.  I have started 2 companies and am trying to get them off the ground.

I still want to write, for sure, but I have not. <<will work on that…

All of the anxiety and the bad ‘mojo’ from last year has been eliminated from my soul.

I have gone through days of pure joy.

I have gone through days of pure hell.

I have gone through days of a roller coaster ride of both… 🙂

I have re-connected with some of the people – the tribe I met through this series… and that makes me smile.

Where am I now?  I am sitting on that wall between WTF am I doing… and I love what I’m planning and want to do!  Hope it works!  I know that when Sally reads this, she will give me a HARD shove away from the WTF! 🙂

Why is this so hard for me?

I think if I were single, I would be in a different mindset…  but, I may have just moved to a different location and gotten a job doing the same old thing for some robotic corporation… (programming database applications, system architecture, etc… or as my husband and mother put it… computer geek shit).

If I were single, I wouldn’t worry if this would work…

But I am not single, nor do I plan to be, so I must move forward and MAKE this work.

After becoming unemployed – resigned without a next step in place… (YIKES!)…  I wrote down everything that I am good at doing, and everything that I ENJOY doing… and this is where the 2 companies came from…

I decided a few things…

  • I do NOT want to work for anyone (permanently) again.
  • I do NOT want to go to useless meetings.
  • I do NOT want to sit in a cubicle and be a drone.
  • I DO want to get in, do projects and move on.
  • I DO want to do something that I love.

Having a husband, a 4 year old, and a dog that depend on my ability to pay the bills has really been the only thing that has caused me anxiety over this adventure.

Well, setting up the actual business stuff has produced some too, considering I have never done this stuff…

But the end result?  I’m happy.  I’m excited.  I’m ready.

So in essence, this post is a shout out to Sarah and her series…. the tribe of people I met through it, and the support I have gotten through my online community, both people from this series and not…

I also have extremely great support from people I met through supporting Southland, NCIS, Stargate and other great shows, along with other people that I am not sure how I ‘met’ – but am grateful that I did!! #justsaying  (need to write a good Follow Friday Post and call out these great people individually…  I will 🙂  soon…)

I really am blessed.

Thank You ALL 🙂

On the edge

What edge am I on?  I am on that edge between FML and WOO HOO.  So many things brought me to this point.  So many things happened, didn’t happen, could have happened, should have happened, would have happened… you get the point…

Last night I posted this status on Twitter and @Sally_G responded with “Sally goes out on a limb and shoves @randomshelly REALLY HARD towards WOO HOO. ‘Cause that’s what she deserves!!”  Thanks Sally!  Exactly what I needed.  Today has already been better!

I’m not going to go into all the whiny shoulda, coulda, wouldas that happened in the past to get me to this edge of FML – instead I’m going to focus on all the things that are pushing me towards WOO HOO.

First of all – I have an extremely wonderful family and friend contingent.  AWESOME PEOPLE!  Very supportive!

Secondly, seems that daily I find comfort and wisdom in connections I have made online and friends that are becoming part of my every day.

Who could ask for anything more?  Well, me…  Although I didn’t really ‘ask’ – but I have been writing again…  have started one of my novels…  I think maybe having a word count to *at least* get to daily is a good goal to set…  I wonder what a reasonable number is… anyone???

I have also been given the opportunity to change my game.  Things came up and I have the option now to do that – I’m very excited to see where I’m going!

Anyone else out there on this edge?  Do you have the support system to help make sure you end up on the WOO HOO side?  If not, find the support…  trust me – it is out there!  So many great people with ideas, advice, comfort, whatever you need.  Just make sure that you get rid of any of the negative people that are holding you back.  That is a must!